Blog Post Topic I Never Thought I Would Ever Get To Write

M and I as American Urban Gothic

I have lived in Indiana for the past ten or so years.  I grew up in Chicago. AKA The City

Recently, some chickens were stolen from my kids school. YES, SOME CHICKENS WERE STOLEN FROM MY KIDS SCHOOL.  That is a phrase that I never thought I would type out, let alone say out loud. We got a letter from the school last weekend telling us about the situation.  I wanted to post about it then because it was written in a way that made this incident extremely serious. But, like you, I really wanted to laugh and post it on the twitter. I decided not to. Until last night, when I got some more news from M.  Then it seemed even more ridiculous.

I always ask about the class rabbit, Freckles T, Rabbit, and the chickens.  Especially Hazel, because all the chickens are named Hazel.  For the record, two chickens were missing and there was some blood found on the cage. For the record, Freckles was unharmed and is not considered a suspect.

The Coop with the missing chickens

Tonight, M told me “the rest of the story”. One chicken was left behind.(AKA Hazel)  Unfortunately, the chicken left behind died this afternoon( RIP Hazel). Which is even funnier to me because Hazel is the color of my eyes, the name of my mom’s best friend, and the name of a friend who makes me laugh. thought that I would type. I am not sure what I find more humorous, the Chicken Man asking if an animal would have used a hammer to crack the lock and rip the door off the hen house or that some of the parents wanted to go question some people that live under a bridge near the school. I am leaning toward the Chicken Guy.

Don’t get me wrong, I love living in Indiana. However, as a city kid who didn’t see a live chicken until he was 23 years old, I think this is funny.

BTW, I am not a chicken hater.  I HEART chicken.  Also, the school named all three chickens Hazel.  To me, all the chickens looked alike anyways.  The more I thought about this incident and what the school told us, I started thinking that there must be a conspiracy! What else are these jokers trying to hide from us.  Yes, there is only one word for this, Chicken Gate. (Which would be the second thing I typed in one night that I never( in two million years))

The Missing Chickens

We have a parent teacher conference at the school on Friday. If they read this post, they may ban me from the school or at least the chicken coop.  If they haven’t, I am going to try and get something on video. Maybe a plea for the Chicken Murderers to come forward.  I will do this while trying not to laugh. I plan on dropping the Chicken Gate line. I think I may have to pass on this conference because I know I will not be able to stop laughing.

Do you remember the show Green Acres, yeah, that’s me.



3 Comments on “Blog Post Topic I Never Thought I Would Ever Get To Write”

  1. catman1975 says:

    LOL, imagining you trying to make a plea for the murderes to come forward and uttering Chicken Gate at the parent teacher conference made me almost lose it at work.

    • Now you know what I was thinking as my wife was telling me this. I have to go to the school for a parent teacher conference tomorrow.
      I will be waiting for them to say “sooooooooooooo, we have a ‘writer’ in our group. Isn’t that special.”

  2. […] Hazels and Ruffels. Yes, Hazels is plural, they have more than on chicken named Hazel. Here is a post I wrote when they went […]

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